That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
