Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
