i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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