You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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