Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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