I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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