i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
