Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
