Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
