I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
