You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
