I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
