it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
