so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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