it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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