sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
