Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
