wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
