Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
