You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
