Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside

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(281): View more from Texas

You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.

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(805): View more from California

Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.

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(614): View more from Ohio

we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"

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(012): View more from

Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.

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