I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
