Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
