his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
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I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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