Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
