Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize