yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
