Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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