well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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