I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
