I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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