Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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