I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
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I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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