Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
