So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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