Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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