i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
