If i come over, it means nothing
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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