My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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