My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
