it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
