BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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