Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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