I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
