he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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