I think I died a long time ago.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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