I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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