I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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