My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
