You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
