Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
