and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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