omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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