My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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