Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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