Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
