I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
