went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
