He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
