Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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