He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
