I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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