Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
